Kooky
by Doc Scratch
Summary: Quillsh Wammy may not have told his family he was acting as Watari, but his niece quickly figures it out and decides upon revenge. Man, is Kira ever in for a surprise. DN Addams Family Crossover ON HIATUS indefinitely.
1. A Dish Best Served Cold

A/N: Well... this came from that crazy place inside of me that I usually try to hush up quickly, but I actually liked this idea... alot. I don't know why. It's a cracktastic idea, and yet I want to write it seriously... or at least as seriously as it is possible to write a fic containing Wednesday Addams. Yeah anyway, the way the story is set up, it goes like this: Watari (or rather, Quillsh Wammy) is Morticia Addam's uncle. This would make him Wednesday's great uncle and also explain why he doesn't have the Addams last name. I always saw Wednesday as a genius because lets be honest, she kinda is. Even if you don't overlook the creepiness you can see that the girl is brilliant. Yeah... that's all. Explanation done.

Disclaimer: I own neither The Addams Family, nor DeathNote.

Summary: Quillsh Wammy may not have told his family he was acting as Watari, but his niece quickly figures it out and decides upon revenge. Man, is Kira ever in for a surprise. DeathNote/Addams Family Crossover

Title: Kooky

Chapter 1: A Dish Best Served Cold

It was, ironically, on a Wednesday that the family received the news.

"A heart attack? How boring." Pugsly whined.

"Now, now Pugsly. No need to be rude!" Gomez scolded. "Besides, this is no mere heart attack! Good old Uncle Wammy was killed by Kira, the most famous mass-murderer in the world! It is a death to be proud of!"

"It still could have been something more interesting." Fester defended his nephew. Wednesday sat quietly in the corner, considering something.

"But why would Kira kill Great-Uncle Wammy?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "He wasn't a criminal at all, and Kira has only killed criminals and people who have gotten in his way thus far. It wouldn't be his style to kill someone like Uncle Wammy." The family stared at her, clearly not entirely comprehending the thought process, but they did seem to realize the level of intelligence in the deduction.

"Oh Tish, we make such smart children…" Gomez seized his wife's arm passionately, planted a kiss on her hand, then her wrist, and so on and so forth. Wednesday left the room before he reached the elbow, more than tired of that display.

"It just doesn't add up." Wednesday informed her headless doll. "Kira has a homicidal psychosis. Insane people are set in their mental processes, they progress one step at a time and it is easy to follow. Logically, Uncle Wammy was an entirely random victim… unless he was somehow involved in the Kira case." The dark young girl considered this, very carefully and systematically.

Uncle Wammy was quite intelligent, that was a fact. He was also often away, traveling constantly. That was a fact. He had a strong sense of justice. That was a fact. The last place he had traveled to was Japan. That was a fact. He had been killed by Kira. That was a fact. Kira only killed criminals and people who got in his way. That was a fact.

Uncle Wammy had been involved in the Kira case. That was a theory, one that would make sense out of the facts. No one knew how he was involved. That was a theory, but Wednesday doubted very much that anyone else would know except for other Kira investigators, and Kira himself, so it was a strong theory.

All that was left was to explain how he was involved, and her theory could be assumed as fact.

He was not a member of the Japanese Police. A fool could tell that much. He was not L, because L was apparently still alive… wait that should be a theory. Not a fact. But another reason would be that L used a different person as the contact for the outside world, which implied that he never entered it. And her uncle certainly had.

Wednesday thought over numerous options, copious ways that her uncle could have been involved… only one fit completely.

Her Great Uncle Wammy had also been Watari, the agent that connected L to the rest of the world. It explained everything, and then some.

Wednesday couldn't pretend to know everything about the Kira case, she couldn't pretend she had instantly come up with a plan to defeat him, and she couldn't pretend what she was going to do would be easy. But Wednesday had known one infallible fact her entire life. One piece of data that she held true in her heart no matter how evil, conniving, and malicious the rest of her became.

No one messed with her family and got away with it.

TBC…

A/N: I decided to end the first chapter there, for dramatic effect. Also so that I can see what people's reaction is, because honestly I don't want to write too much of this if people aren't going to read and review. I don't like putting a lot of work into a story and getting like, one crappy review or something. Not that I don't appreciate every positive review I get, it's just kind've depressing to spend hours writing and getting all excited and going 'wow, this is a fun idea! I really like this!' and having one person go 'Cool. Next chappie pls.' So yeah… Review!


	2. How to Catch Up to Kira

A/N: So after forever and a day I decided to get off my lazy ass (or… actually get on it, as I am sitting as I type this…) and work on this. Because really I love the idea and it is fun to write… I'm just lazy. As stated above. But uh… FurikoMaru, I'm going to have to ask you not to give me any cookies… I don't like sweets… I know I don't deserve to call myself an L-fan! –Sobs- I can't help it! I just don't like them!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 2: How to Catch Up to Kira in Three Days

First things being first, Wednesday needed to gather more information. This proved more difficult than she had at first anticipated. Obviously, the rest of the family was oblivious, so they would be no help at all. What's more, when she accessed Uncle Wammy's computer system, she found that all the data had been deleted, all except for one file. An email file that appeared to arrived one day after her uncle's death.

The missing data alone was highly suspicious, and only strengthened her reasoning of Wammy's secret identity. The email was far more interesting. It seemed to have been sent a day or two before the fact, and the wacky worldwide web had simply misplaced it for that time period. The contents of the email were thus:

W-

Contact the orphanage. I have a feeling their services may be needed soon. My suspicions against YL have increased, and I am certain that the capturing of Yotsuba is the prelude to the final movement should I be correct.

I want to make sure all the information I have is available to M and N in case the worst should occur.

-

It was unsigned, and no names were mentioned. The return-address was routed through several other countries and completely untraceable. In fact the computer crashed, apparently due to some sort of virus, as soon as Wednesday thought she was getting close. Of course, she had enough foresight to have printed out the letter first.

Anyone else would have seen it as useless. Suspicious, but useless. To Wednesday Addams, the letter was all that was needed to develop a scheme.

Before anything else, Wednesday left her Uncle's computer to sizzle and went to her own. It was easy enough to do a search on Yotsuba, which revealed that it was a Japanese multi-purpose company that had recently gained a startling profit at an incredible pace, and then suddenly bombed.

Next she typed in 'Yotsuba. Company. Capture.'

What popped up were several police reports one of which let slip the final words of one Kyosuke Higuchi. "_There's a notebook that kills the person whose name you write in it if you know what they look like!"_

"Interesting." Wednesday smiled. Obviously, she was going to have to go to Japan… but that was a problem to be dealt with later. For now, there was one last thing she needed, one final piece of the puzzle.

…

Near slid the final piece into place, gazing at the puzzle that had been his favorite ever since he'd received it. L was dead. Mello had left. And now all he had to work with was some garbled data that Roger had managed to rescue from the already closing lines of L's computer system.

The phone in the hallway rang. Near ignored it, like he always did. One of the nurses, called Shelly, answered the phone good-naturedly. It was always the nurses who answered.

"Hello! Wammy's House Orphanage, Nurse Shelly speaking how may I help-" Her bright greeting was cut off, presumably by the person on the other end of the line. Near's curiosity was piqued to just the slightest degree. "W-what do you…? No I'm sorry, I don't think… But… I don't know any 'M'… One of the children here? 'N'? I'm sorry I'm going to need more than a letter, Miss…" Near's eyes widened, his mind calculating fiercely. He sprang to his feet and walked to the phone.

"Give it to me." Near's voice barred any argument, and Shelly handed the phone over looking fearful. "Go find Roger." She nodded and hurried off. "This is N. Who am I speaking to?"

"Good. That worked better than I thought it would." An apathetic female voice answered. "You can call me… Hmm, well I suppose 'W' would be open now, wouldn't it?" Near blinked. This person couldn't possibly be insinuating that, could they? Only one way to find out.

"Obviously neither of us is going to get anywhere fast asking questions we refuse to answer directly." Near said, "So why don't you get to the point?"

"I know L is dead. I know Watari is dead. I know this orphanage, and you in particular, have something to do with L and the Kira Investigation. I want Kira, I want him dead to be specific. Meaning of course that any information you can give me is the reason I have called." The girl stated matter-of-factly.

"You certainly know how to get to the point." Near smiled. "I'm afraid, however, that I cannot divulge any of that information."

"So I was right." The voice replied, and Near was momentarily thrown. "Thank you, while not quite as helpful, verification is appreciated all the same."

"Oh, you're good." The pale boy laughed.

"Naturally." The 'W' girl's voice carried a smiling tone now.

"Why are you after Kira?" Near asked.

"Why are _you_?" Came the retort. But Near knew better this time.

"Who says I am?"

"Oh, learning, are we?" The voice sounded intrigued, and a bit annoyed.

"Perhaps." Near smirked.

"Should I need a reason other than that he is a mass-murderer?" W seemed to be more defensive now. Near put a hand to his head and twirled a lock of his hair.

"That seems like a question only you can answer…" Near paused, considering. Suddenly, Roger appeared being led by an anxious Nurse Shelly. "I believe this conversation is over. Call here again and they'll be able to put you through to me. Ask for N as you did this time. In the meantime I will decide what I might tell you." Near hung up the phone sharply and turned to talk to the caretaker.

"Near! What was that about? Shelly said there was some suspicious phone call from someone who said that Quillsh Wammy was Watari!" Roger exclaimed.

"There appears to be a new player…" Near responded simply. "I wouldn't worry… yet." And with that, the pale boy returned to his puzzle.

…

Wednesday hung up the phone with a small, satisfied smile. Of course, she hadn't expected anyone succeeding L to be stupid enough to give information to a stranger. Nonetheless it was… disappointing. She hated it when she had to alter her plans.

The final piece appeared to be something she'd have to find in Japan. Japan… where Kira was. If you want to find a person, it only makes sense to look where they are, really.

There were two reasonable options for getting to Japan; Wednesday chose the less time-consuming path.

The book of Greed took her to the treasury. There she gathered what was definitely an excess of gold but… in for a penny, in for a pound, after all. Besides it was always best to allow for unforeseen circumstances. Murphy's Law and whatnot. Packing her suitcase was hardly a problem. There, preparations finished, Wednesday had but two problems left.

Wednesday Addams was a naturally introverted girl, withdrawn and constantly seeming to appear and disappear when you least expected it. This was, of course, enthusiastically encouraged by her parents. Meaning that when she had some sort of project and wanted to be alone, she was left alone.

Except for Thing. Despite being only a hand, he had a nose for trouble that often led the appendage straight to the perpetrator. Now was no different, and the mute creature was bouncing up and down on the dark girl's bed, gesticulating wildly with obvious disapproval.

"Don't be foolish, Thing." Wednesday ordered calmly. "They wouldn't understand." More flailing. Only Addams family members were ever capable of making sense of Thing's particular brand of sign language. Then again, only an Addams would take an animated hand in stride.

"Simple." She answered. "It won't be dangerous at all. For me." Thing made a skeptical movement. "I know what I'm doing. Besides, if I'm going to rule the world, then I can't let an amateur like Kira gain such power." Thing jerked back and forth frantically.

"I refuse to dignify that with an answer." Wednesday replied simply. "I'm going. You can either come, or I'm going to lock you in that trunk so that you cannot inform anyone else of my plans until it is too late." Thing sprang up immediately, leaping from the bed and racing across the floor on his fingers like a macabre spider. Wednesday didn't even bat an eyelash. The old plastic aquarium she'd rigged by the doorframe toppled over as Thing unwittingly tripped the dust-covered wire, successfully trapping him.

"I did warn you." She informed him blithely, walking over and sliding the makeshift prison over to the trunk, flipping the load and its unhappy victim in with a quick maneuver. Wednesday slammed the lid home, and calmly went to retrieve her suitcase, and the black handbag full of money. With a sardonic wave at the thumping trunk, the girl slipped out the window, skillfully sliding down the vines on the outside wall, and landing gracefully on the damp grass.

"Looks like I'll have to book a special flight." She sighed, hitching the shoulder strap on her handbag higher and setting off at an even pace for the street leading into the city.

Tbc…

A/N: I am sorry it took so long to get it finished and posted... Do please forgive me. And review! Review alot! Or I'll take even longer with the third chapter. -dramatic lightning clash of doom-


	3. Video Message

A/N: Doing a bit of a time-skip here (Not a huge one) because I really don't feel like writing out all the boring little details about how Wednesday books a flight, then has to bribe like, three people so they don't report to the police that some preteen girl is going alone on an international flight and can someone find her parents please. Yeah, so there. As always I am ferociously grateful for the lovely reviews I have received. I adore you people. Anyone who leaves me a positive review automatically earns my love. Especially if they review more than one of my stories... -hint hint- lol, but seriously you guys, you're awesome.

Disclaimer: Waiiiit... lemme check... Nope. Still don't own Deathnote or Addams Family. -Sigh-

Chapter 3: 'W' Wants to Send You a Video Message...

Light had been preening quite a bit the past few weeks. Surreptitiously, of course. Couldn't have the other Kira Investigators thinking he was glad about L's death. That would complicate things. Still he couldn't help but be elated. After all, the way he saw it, the main obstacle was gone and his ascension to godhood was now only a matter of time. Kira's New World was at last within his grasp, with no meddlesome dark geniuses to get in his way... or so he thought.

"Light-kun!" Matsuda's worried voice disturbed Light from his (fake) Kira researching. He looked over resignatedly, expecting to hear something about more deaths or some other such thing. Matsuda was always getting worked up about the smallest irrelevancies. However, there was something on Matsuda's screen that made Light pause, then stand up and immediately walk over.

It was an elaborate letter 'W' not the same as Watari's had been, nor Wedy's, but just as large and eye-catching.

"What is this?" Light demanded. Matsuda blinked at the earnest expression on Light's face.

"It's a email someone sent me. I tried tracking it, but it's routed all weird. And there's a link attached..." Matsuda pointed to the blue address just below the gothic letter. Light hesitated, wondering what he should do.

L was dead. There was no question about that. He had seen L die, held the body in his arms, watched the burial. L was dead.

But that didn't mean he had to get careless.

"Everyone." He began, gaining the full attention of the other investigators. "After Matsuda sends you all the important files from his computer, I want you to disconnect yours from the system and shut them off. Matsuda, copy all the files you have and send them through the system to the other's computers, then delete all of them from your computer. I don't want whoever this is hacking us through their link."

"So... we're going to try it then?" Matsuda questioned apprehensively.

"Of course. We have to follow any leads we get." Light replied gravely.

Several minutes later the only active computer in the room was Matsuda's, and all the others were crowded around it. Speakers had been set up, just in case sound was necessary. Tentatively, and with much suspense, Light moved the mouse forward and clicked the link.

A new window popped up, loading a media player, a small screen appearing to load. After a few seconds of loading, an image appeared on the screen that made the investigators automatically recoil, then lean in again.

It was a doll, sitting on a stool against a plain white wall. The doll was in a dark button up dress. And it had no head. A small card was propped up on it's lap, with the elaborate 'W' engraved on it in red ink.

"Hello." A machine garbled voice announced, startling the watchers. "I am W. May I speak to Kira?" Everyone was silent. Then Light turned to Aizawa.

"See if you can track the signal."

Aizawa leant forward and typed furiously on the computer.

"No good. There's definitely a signal, but I can't get a hold on the routing, and without the proper equipment I can't even figure out how they're blocking it." The man shook his head.

"Kira is there. I want to speak to him." The voice continued. "Surely you have microphones?" It was hard to tell, due to the disguising machine, but the voice seemed to have taken on a mocking air. Light reached for the microphone.

"What are you doing?" Soichiro asked.

"This person knows something. Since I'm acting as L, I should be the one to talk to them." Light replied simply, and the others nodded. He pressed the button labeled 'L' and began speaking into the microphone. "W, as you call yourself... Kira is not here. This is L speaking."

"L is dead. Kira is there." W replied. Light released the button on the microphone in shock.

"How does he know!?" Matsuda panicked, all the investigators looking stressed now. "And what's up with that creepy doll anyway?" Not to be deterred though, Light shushed him and pushed the button once more.

"Why do you say that? And how should we know that _you _are not Kira?" Light questioned.

"I say it because it is true, of course. I cannot be Kira, because someone in the NPA is Kira. Assuming all the current members are with you right now, it should be obvious therefore, that I am not Kira." The voice reasoned.

"What proof do you have that Kira is in the NPA?" Light countered.

"What proof do you have that he is not?" The voice retorted calmly. There was silence for some time.

"No one here is Kira. I trust all of the members here. I know none of them are Kira." Light replied firmly, and the investigators felt a surge of pride. However, as they say, 'pride goeth before a fall.'

"Then _you _must be Kira. I'd say it was a pleasure to meet you, but I don't usually bother with unnecessary lies." W said apathetically.

"Who are you? Why do you make such assumptions?" Light had a nasty feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he stayed calm. Just a voice over the computer, they could prove nothing obviously, or they would have already. Wouldn't they?

"I am W. Did I not make that clear enough for you? I'm not making assumptions, either. I'm forming deductions from the information I have acquired. What's wrong, don't like ideas being put into the heads of your pawns? Well... I can't say that I blame you. For that much, at least." W answered sardonically. There was a long pause.

"If you're trying to buy time to hack information from our computers, it's not going to work." Light informed her. Another pause.

"So I'd noticed. Then again, Kira wouldn't really be so stupid as to click a link without taking precautions. I suppose I should be glad for that much. Otherwise hunting you wouldn't be any fun." W recovered.

"How many times must I say it? No one here is Kira!" Light said.

"You can say that as much as you like. It makes no difference. Blood will never stop being blood even if someone says it is water a hundred times over."

"Are you _insane_?"

"Perhaps. At least I'm not a hypocrite." And with that, the video suddenly stopped, the entire screen went black and then odd symbols spread themselves across the screen. Light reached out and pulled the plug, and the thing shut off.

"He sent a virus over the line... it's probably best to just trash Matsuda's computer and reboot the whole system now." Light sighed.

"Who was that...?" Soichiro was still staring at the piece of technology with horror.

"I don't know. But whoever it was... is dangerous." Light frowned grimly. 'And not just to the NPA...' He finished in his thoughts.

TBC...

A/N: I know, it's short and kinda crappy... ok a lot crappy. I would've written more, but I figured I'm already way overdue for an update and I shouldn't press it anymore. Next chapter should be longer.


	4. Hiatus

A/N:

I'm sorry everyone but this is not, as your inboxes would have you believe, a new chapter. Really my deepest apologies, but I am having major writer's block on this story. I'm almost entirely certain I bit off more than I can chew.

First off, I'm truly paranoid about getting characterisation wrong. I know Raito's character, and Near's character is easy all I have to do is bleach the majority of emotion, and I love Mello's char so much that there is no way I can't get him right... unless of course I make him more awesome than he is, which I doubt is possible. But Wednesday's character is more complicated, mostly because I've never written her before, and also because if I take her to the full extreme that is her personality, I just know she's gonna get caught somehow.

All of that however, I could work past. No, the real problem is the timelines. They are seriously getting in my way.

The thing that I've realized is this: I brought Wednesday in way too soon. Her character, as I see it, would want to respond immediately to the information she obtained, but that simply doesn't work. There are several years worth of a gap between the deaths of L and Watari, and the battle between Mello, Near, and Raito. So introducing her into the Deathnote timeline put me at a distinct disadvantage.

I can either have her and Raito battling it out for the next few years, which doesn't work that well for me since they're both geniuses and would be bound to make progress on one another that would be dangerous for the later plot. Or I can take her out of the picture somehow just until Mello and Near enter it, which I have no idea how to actually do.

So that's the long and short of it.

However I _do not_ want to give up on this story just yet, so instead I'm putting it on Hiatus. Hopefully I will be able to work my way through this eventually, but it doesn't look like it's happening anytime soon. I can't say I'm sorry enough, because you have all been so completely wonderful even though it's only been three chapters, but I really need to put this off. Indefinitely.

I'll understand if this angers and annoys you all, really, but I just can't see any way around it at the moment.

So thank you all, so much, for reading. I hope I can see you again when I come back to this. In the meantime, I will still be posting/updating plenty of other stories, so feel free to go check those out.

Love ya all!

-Lady Ali


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